Sunday Spotlight: Wudrich

This being Sunday and me knowing about this cool new blog I want to throw a spotlight on, I thought I'd go out on a creative limb with this oh-so-clever title... I'm crazy like that. So crazy, in fact, that I'm hoping to make this a regular feature here at the Mind.

Of course, the word "regular" should in no way be taken to mean that this feature will appear on a consistent or frequent basis. I'm nothing if not a man who knows his limitations. Anyway...

Do you like movies? Music? How about TV shows? Yeah, of course you do... We all do! But I can honestly say I've never met somebody who likes all those things as much as Wudrich. This guy is like a giant media sponge! You'll already be familiar with this phenomenon if you've ever taken the time to click on Wudrich's Rants and Reviews in my Daily Reads. If you haven't, don't bother looking for it now... it's gone. You had your chance. In its place is the re-vamped and re-named Wudrich.

Gone is the stark white, advertisement-cluttered Angelfire journal with the annoying pop-ups... Now a part of the BlogSpot "big leagues", Wudrich sports a sleek, sexy new template that is much easier on the eyes and far better suited to the main theme of this blog: An in-depth analysis of all things entertainment.

One of the things I like best about Wudrich's reviews is what I call the Common Man Breakdown. He doesn't rate movies on an arbitrary 4- or 5-star scale... He doesn't leave you wondering about the grey area between a thumbs-up and a thumbs-down... He gets right to the point and tells you what you really need to know: Buy It, Rent It, or Skip It. Although this might look more like a rating system for DVD's than theatrical releases, think about it for a second: If it's the kind of movie you'd want to own, go see it in the theatre. If it's purely rental quality, wait for the DVD.

I think Skip It pretty much speaks for itself.

Another great thing about Wudrich is the guy's broad range of taste. If I had to put a word to his movie, music, and TV preferences, it would be "eclectic", not only because it's the right word, but because I spent a whole 3 minutes looking it up to make sure it was the right word and time is money, baby! There's nothing worse than reading a review written by somebody who you just know never strays from one corner of his local Blockbuster Video... "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: No spaceships... It sucked!" Well, you won't find that at Wudrich. Sci-Fi, Drama, Chick Flicks, you name it... He'll give you the low-down on all of them without prejudice.

As a bonus, Wudrich is also quite the budding photographer... Seriously. He's got a great digital camera, and he's not afraid use it. So look for a showcase of his work in his "Photo Friday" posts.

Are you still here? Come on! I've left more than enough links to this great new site... Get clicking! Just remember to tell him Cuppojoe sent you so I can tell him he owes me one...

Spoon-Fed Marketing

So here I am, sitting in front of the TV, and on comes a commercial that I've seen about a hundred times. It's for the "Big Dodge Ram Mega Cab", where these 4 huge, lumberjack kinda guys pile out of buddy's pickup at some little restaurant in the mountains because one of them just has to have pancakes. As they go inside, the camera pans to show a giant Paul Bunyan statue at the end of the parking lot, and ol' Paul's got his eye on that big truck.

You know which one I'm talking about now?

Well, after the voice-over is finished reciting all the specs of the truck and the legal mumbo jumbo involved in leasing the beast, the guys come out of the restaurant, only to find the truck missing. "Where's the truck?" one of them so-intelligently asks.

The commercial finishes with a shot of the truck driving away down the highway with a giant axe in the back. Ha ha... Clever marketing... The truck's even big enough for Paul Bunyan.

I noticed something different today, though. This time, when they showed Paul checking out the truck, they added a little "thought-voice" saying, "That sure is a big truck..."

It's not uncommon for ad agencies to change commercials a little bit, especially if market research shows that the audience isn't getting the point. So, I'm led to believe that there were enough people out there who were completely stumped by this one that they had to clarify it. I suppose some schmoe was sitting in his house thinking, "Hey... After those guys found their missing truck, why did they steal Paul Bunyan's axe? They'll never be able to swing that!"

You watch, we're gonna start seeing commercials with the director's commentary anytime now...

Scenes from the Forklift: Job Knowledge

I was sitting at my desk this morning, going over a couple emails, updating a few things in the system, when I looked up and saw 2 guys from "The Other Company" (really, just a division of our company, but "different" enough to deserve the title) approaching. The two of them stopped in my doorway and just stared at me until I finally gave in and asked, "Yes?"

With Number Two Other Guy leaning over his shoulder, Number One Other Guy held up a keyboard for me to see.

"Can we leave this on your cleaning bench for one of your guys to clean?"

Now, a couple of things ran through my mind at that moment... I wondered why I would want to have a member of my staff clean a keyboard for "The Other Company"... I wondered why it took two of them to come ask me this inane question... I wondered how two guys could stand so close together without feeling just a little creeped out...

I believe my response was something to the effect of, "No", after which I went back to what I was doing, hoping they would go away.

If wishes were fishes...

I gave it a good 5 seconds before looking up again and saying, "Why don't you just clean it yourself?" I was just itching to hear them say they were too busy so I could rip into them about it taking two really busy guys to walk one keyboard back to the warehouse. Alas, all I got was a blank stare and the response, "We don't know which chemicals are involved in that process."

Let me clarify... We're talking about a keyboard for a computer here. And, from what I could see, it was a little dirty. I really didn't think we were going to have to resort to some exotic chemical treatment in order to render this particular piece of equipment safe for public use. Looking over at the aforementioned cleaning bench, I saw the usual array of sanitation apparatus: Namely, a bottle of Windex and a pile of rags.

In the end, I think the two of them got it all figured out... But now I'm wondering if these might be the guys that left the "Snickers Bar, please" note and dollar taped to the snack machine...

Photo of the Week: The One Less Traveled By

Living in Alberta means the possibility of beauty and adventure around every bend in the road... Something I need to take more advantage of.

By the way, check out my sidebar for links to past "Photo of the Week" features.
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Analyze This: The Good, The Bad, and The Glowing Blue Goo

It's been a little while since I've given you all a glimpse at what caffeine can do to a sleeping brain, so let's see if you can wrap your heads around this one...

Ready? Here we go...

It started off with my boss handing me what can only be called a ridiculously small kayak with a paddle about the size of two wooden spoons strapped together. Looking around, I noticed the aqueduct we were in was full of "boaters"... I say that in quotes because I'm not sure I saw an actual "boat" among them. Lots of inner tubes, inflatable mattresses, and even a few bathtubs, but no boats. Slipping off the concrete wall and into my kayak, I quickly made my way to the head of the pack.

Little did I realize, this meant being the first person to paddle his way into my great-aunt's living room.

I negotiated the turns around the ottoman and coffee tables without too much trouble, and even made it so far as the guest bathroom on the main floor before I was stumped by an insurmountable obstacle... The stairs. Fortunately, that seemed to be the end of the race, since my little kayak had mysteriously disappeared.

Up the stairs I went.

Now, maybe my memory of my great-aunt's house is a little sketchy, but I'm pretty sure she didn't have a shopping mall upstairs. Still, there it was... A two-level, gallery-style mall that looked nothing like any mall I'd ever been in. It was full of garish colors, sunlight streamed in through the glass skylights, the stores were tiny little shops all packed together, and the place was crowded. I imagine it's the kind of thing one might see in Japan...

Looking around, I spotted someone I know, but haven't seen in many years. He was standing on the second level, right at the railing, holding what looked like a Nerf gun or Super Soaker, and smiling down at me. In the next instant, he raised the gun and fired, just missing me but leaving a glowing blue puddle of goo not far from where I stood.

The chase was on.

For how long I dodged and weaved through the crowd in the mall trying to avoid being shot by the mysterious blue goo, I don't know. I always managed to stay a step ahead of my attacker, but every time I looked back he was right there, relentlessly pursuing me like something out of a Terminator movie. A couple of times I saw him stop long enough to fire a shot into the ground where he stood, almost like we has marking his path. Who needs a Mall Directory when you've got a gun that makes puddles of glowing blue, goo, eh?

I took a turn down a hallway devoid of shops and found myself facing two doors. One was marked "Gas Meter Room" and the other "Boiler Room". Having been a Building Operator at one time, and knowing my way around these types of rooms, I was momentarily encouraged that I had finally gained the upper hand. Until, that is, I remembered I hadn't ever been a Building Operator in this mall and likely didn't have a key to either of those doors. So, I turned to leave the hallway and find a new route, but there he was.

Still smiling, he approached. I had nowhere to go and nothing to defend myself with. I was defeated. He raised the gun a final time and held the barrel about an inch from my chest.

The next thing I saw was my own arm flailing out and knocking the gun out of line with my body. "Interesting," I thought, since it hadn't occurred to me to try a move so daring. Even as I thought this, my other hand shot out and twisted the gun from my attacker's grip. I spun around, aimed, and fired.

A glowing blue spot seemed to blossom on his chest. With the same empty smile still tattooed on his face, he began to fall backwards.

And I woke up.

All right, kids, have at it... There's got to be plenty of imagery in that one for you to dissect. Don't hold back... let me have it!

Me vs. The School, Part 2

We now return to our regularly scheduled program in progress...

Well, I called the principal of my kid's school, as promised. In an unprecedented wise move on my part, I actually waited two days before making the call. Had I not, I'm quite certain a few of you would have seen me on the local news with a graphic proclaiming, "Preposterously Pugnacious Parent Provokes Public School Principal into Pugilistic Pairing". Those Channel 3 guys love alliteration. And the letter "P".

I have to hand it to this guy... He's quite the diplomat. Before I even had a chance to get worked up, he had me eating out of his hand and saying things like, "Oh, definitely. I completely understand." and, "No, no... Of course. I can't see it being any other way." and even, "I must kill the Malaysian Prime Minister."

(That last one is a lot funnier if you've seen Zoolander... trust me.)

The long and the short of it is, I have a Parent Teacher Conference to attend this Friday, during which I have been encouraged to have the teacher provide her "evidence" for the marks given (all "3's", in case you've forgotten). I'm looking forward to the imperical proof of my child's absolute averageness, I tell you.

While I had the guy on the phone, I decided to bring up another issue that my daughter has been complaining about lately, namely the fact that she has been the victim of some bullying on the playground. It seems that a few of the boys have been pushing her down on the ice, or grabbing her ankles when she's on the monkey bars. I'm not ready to explain to her that these actions are likely indications of affection, so I'll just let good ol' Mr Principal deal with it for now.

Wait... There's more.

I happened to be telling a co-worker about these bullying problems, and he related the following story to me.

Apparently, when his son was about the same age as my daughter is now, he too was being bullied at school. His dad (my co-worker... come on, follow along here!), tried giving all the politically correct advice he could think of, from, "Try to stay away from the kid" to, "Tell a teacher when you get bullied".

Not surprisingly, especially with children this age, whose grasp of logic is somewhat less than fully developed, the bullying continued. At the end of his rope, the dad (my co-worker... remember?), finally sat his son down and said, "Look, violence is not the answer to your problems, but, sometimes you just have to stand up for yourself when you are being picked on. The next time it happens, if you can't resolve it any other way, just give the kid a smack. Maybe you'll get beat up, but maybe showing that you aren't afraid to defend yourself will put a stop to all this."

Some time after that, the dad went to pick his son up from school, only to find out that he had been to the Office for fighting that day. "Well, what happened?" the dad asked.

"It's like this,", his son replied. "She just kept trying to kiss me. I warned her not to 3 times, like you taught me, and then I hit her."

A Father's Crushing Defeat

Well, I was pretty jazzed as I left work today because I had the most awesome idea for a blog post. Unfortunately, the best laid plans of mice and men...

Before I could even make it home, I had the pleasure of catching my little girl, my angel, the apple of my eye trying to steal a toy from one of my girlfriend's kids. I discovered, after much questioning and about a gallon of crocodile tears, she did it because, as she said, "he has really cool stuff".

*sigh*

Suffice it to say, the wind has kind of been taken out of my sails for this evening. So, my apologies for teasing you with the thought of a good laugh, but I'm sure I'll be more up to the task tomorrow.