Sibling Rivalry

I like to think of myself as a pretty proud Canadian. I know that we tend to be the butt of a lot of jokes, but we write a lot of them too... It's also been a long-running joke that Americans don't know anything about us... that they think nothing more of us than a nice piece of natural resource real estate they can take anytime they want. Of course, while I suspect the average American's view of Canada is, "Who?", I've never really put much merit in the idea we'll just be another state one day.



So, I was pretty surprised and taken aback when I viewed this little piece from Fox TV today (thanks to my good buddy Clint over at clint.ca for the link):



http://www.goyk.com/flash.asp?path=1213



Now, I'm hoping that these views are just the extremes... So, since most of you visiting via BE and BC are American, I'd like to hear what you think. Don't let the fact that I'm Canadian soften the blow... Be as brutally honest as you need to be. I'd really like to know what the average American thinks of their little brother.



Speak up now... Don't be shy!

Late Night Will Never Be The Same...

The Answer: Every single one of us...



The Question: Who will miss Johnny Carson?

If you are anywhere near my age, one of your earliest memories of "staying up late" is the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. Like me, you probably didn't understand most of the jokes, thought all the sitting around and talking was boring, and couldn't figure out why that other guys was always saying, "Hey-O!", but it was a thrill to be watching TV after midnight none the less.



As I got older, I grew to appreciate Johnny's opening monologues and the tongue-in-cheek shots he'd take at the newsmakers of the time. I especially got a kick out of the countless crazy guests that would be inflicted upon Johnny... From monkeys that pulled his hair, to borderline-psychotic inventors whose contraptions had more of a chance of maiming Johnny that doing what they were built for. The best times were when Carson would turn to the camera with his patented, "Get me outta here!" look in his eyes.



I think that's probably the biggest reason that we loved him so much... He wasn't just doing his show for the people in the studio audience... He was connecting with each and every faceless viewer around the globe, letting them be a part of the experience. He was a true master of his trade.



Johnny Carson kept us entertained for a phenomenal 30 years before practically disappearing into retirement in 1992. And, though the show goes on with Jay Leno at the helm, I still occasionally pine for the days of Carson, Doc, and Ed MacMahon. But, I guess he's makin' 'em laugh in a better place now... If you listen closely, I bet you can here St. Peter opening the pearly gates with a hearty,

"Heeeeeeeeeeere's Johnny!"

My Philosophy

I try to get the most out of life by living vicariously through myself...

Down with the Sickness

Whew! It's been a rough couple of days on ol' Cuppojoe, let me tell you! I don't know what I've managed to catch, but it's a doozy! Of course, having a small child in Kindergarten and daycare pretty much ensures that I get every illness known to man, so I shouldn't be too surprised.



I took the day off from work yesterday, just knowing that I wouldn't be able to make it through a whole day in the warehouse. So, I walked in this morning to the usual barrage of sarcastic remarks... "How was your day off?"... "Little bit of the 24 ounce flu?"... "Hey! Look who decided to show up today!" Of course, the ribbing wouldn't have been complete without Rockstar doing the "I think I've got the black lung" cough from Zoolander...



Yeah. Let's hear it for my friends, folks.



Well, it didn't take too long for the tune to change, seeing as I wasn't exactly ready to be back at work. I don't think I've had my appearance compared to feces so many times in one day! I'm flattered... really. In all honesty, though, there were times through the day when I contemplated which would be quicker: To make my way to the washrooms, or just open up the big bay doors and vomit on the loading dock. How's that for a mental image?



Luckily (I think), I didn't actually lose my lunch. Hmmm... Now that I think of it, I didn't even have lunch (which, if you know me at all, is very out of the ordinary), so I would have had to lose some other meal. Anyway, the point is, I made it through the day. Barely.



Now I'm home and taking care of my little girl who's first words to me when I picked her up at the daycare were, "My tummy hurts". I think it's going to be a long night...

Boring Childhood Stories: Foot in Mouth, Flat on Back

In my teen years I attended a little church on the other side of town. For the most part, I went to the Youth Group meetings on Friday nights, where I hung out with a pretty cool group of kids. In fact, it was in this group that I met my "best friend".



One wintry Sunday morning, after a night of movies and talking about a million trivial things, this friend and I were running to catch a bus to be in time for the Morning Service. As we raced down the street, I looked down and noticed that, unlike myself in my ratty running shoes, he was wearing a very nice pair of dress shoes.



"Better watch out in those shoes," I warned. "It's pretty icy and those things have no grip!"



He scoffed, "I'm a wrestler... I have perfect balance."



This would be a good time to pause and point out that he was, indeed, a wrestler, and a good one at that. However, no sooner had these fateful words left his mouth than he stepped on a patch of ice.



It all happened in super slow-motion... I saw his feet go out from under him and his body seemed to drift upwards, almost gracefully. But then gravity kicked in and wrapped its unrelenting fingers around his now near horizontal form. Down, down, down, he went... finally slamming into the ground with a massive thud. I reacted as any true friend would have in that situation.



I laughed my ass off! It was the funniest thing I had ever seen! The timing was just so perfect! To be honest, I can't even remember if we made the bus after that or not... all I remember is laughing and saying the words "perfect balance" over and over again.



So, back to the present. During this Christmas shopping season, I happened to find myself in one of those stores that sells all sorts of knick-knacks and home-made do-dads. One little basket was filled with all sorts of polished stones adorned with what I can only assume was Chinese writing. Each one had an Oriental character on one side, and the English translation on the other. I'm sure you've seen them. Anyway, although it came 16 years too late, I managed to find the perfect one for my friend:

But wait! It gets better... This friend's initials are K.H. and, if you look closely at the Chinese writing, you'll see them there too, plain as day!



I guess it was meant to be!

Photo of the Week: Together in Blue

Couple takes a little "down time", waiting for the whales in the underwater viewing area of the Vancouver Aquarium.
Posted by Hello

I Am Such a Sheep

No, that wasn't a proposition to my Scottish readers... In fact, I'm part Scottish myself. Notice how much money I've invested in this blog? None! Exactly my point!



Anyway, what I'm getting at is BlogClicker. I just couldn't help myself, and I followed the crowd. But I'm glad I did... It has generated a ton of hits for me so far.



I may have to declare blogging as my second vice...



"Click the tree image!" "Click the dog image!" "Click the shoe image!" Did someone ring a bell? I'm starting to salivate...

Speaking of Originality...

True, in the Big Wide World of Blogs, "Musings..." may not be the most unique title for this page, but I still think it sounds better than "Desperately Searching for an Interesting Topic..."



And, with that, I'll get back to, uh, "musing"...

Scenes from the Forklift: Lift No More

It finally happened.



In the past, we've had our ups and downs with the forklift at MSA One (good play on words, eh?). It's not uncommon to find that someone forgot to plug it in over the weekend and it needs a little "nap" part way through the day... Nor is it out of the ordinary for the motor to continue running once you step off the Dead Man brake... For those unfamiliar with forklifts, this is akin to having your car stay running and in gear after you've put it in park and removed the key... In layman's terms: Bad. Lately, though, the sounds and smells of impending doom have had us wondering when the end would arrive.



It arrived today.



It seems that it only takes 5 years of utter neglect to kill a forklift. Right in the middle of picking an order from the second shelf, the steering gave an unusually loud CLUNK! and promptly seized. The forks remained operational, but we seldom have the need to raise and lower a skid in one specific spot of the warehouse, so I'm having a difficult time finding a silver lining in this cloud.



Fortunately, this happened to be one of the best days for this to happen. The fact that I caught Spanky, one of our Product Transfer Technicians, attempting to build a sub box out of cardboard, packing tape, and a pair of trashed computer speakers attests to the lack of "real work" that was going on. Not to mention that Doogie, the Shipper Boy Genius wasn't around to blow a gasket over the occurrence. Hmmm... Maybe that qualifies for "silver lining" after all...



(On a related note, Doogie is now 2005's first recipient of an Academy Award nomination for his part in "Man Calling in Sick"... Kudos!)



So, until we get the old girl back on her feet (I'm talking about the forklift again, not Doogie), I'd like to announce a sale on All Things on Ground Level...



Hurry! Supplies are limited!

If You Can Dodge Originality...

I finally saw Dodgeball, after much encouragement to do so by co-workers and friends. And, while I'm a pretty big Ben Stiller fan, this one just didn't quite do it for me.



I loved a lot of the slapstick... Is there anything funnier than seeing a grown man laid out by a ball? Something is keeping America's Funniest Home Videos on the air, after all! But I was truly disappointed by Mr. Stiller's performance.



Before you get on my case and point out that I was supposed to hate Stiller's White Goodman... Duh! I got that. What I didn't get, however, was why Ben had to re-hash a bunch of old roles instead of coming up with something original.



White was nothing more than Derek Zoolander, with a dash of the mean retirement home orderly from Happy Gilmore, and a bit of Tony Perkis (Heavyweights), psycho fitness instructor, thrown in for good measure. I mean, seriously... You know that a movie with the game of dodgeball at the core of its plot is going to need a little substance, but I was just never there.



I'll admit that I laughed quite a few times, especially at the end when Stiller was a grossly overweight failure, armchair dancing after the credits, but the rest of the movie didn't leave a mentionable impression on me.



I can only hope that this was one of Ben's "contractual obligation" movies, and that he has more fun and festivities in store for later in 2005. With that said, I think it's time I went to Meet the Fockers...

Cut The Red Wire... While You Still Can

Okay, unless you've been living in a cave for the last few weeks (apologies to all my cave-dwelling readers), you've become painfully aware of the current phenomenon called BlogExplosion.



While I'm not really one for blog promotion (especially since it's been difficult lately to make time for writing), I must humbly admit that I signed up for "the experience". I'll tell you, I'm a bit of a skeptic, so I didn't really expect much from it... Anybody else still using BlogSnob with the faint hope of getting a hit from it? No? I guess I'm the only sucker left! Anyway, like I was saying, I didn't expect much.



Boy was I surprised!



The all-knowing "They" claim that using BlogExplosion could bring hundreds, even thousands, of people to your site every month. Well, I got 100 hits on my very first day! Unbelievable! Of course, not a single person left a comment, viewed my profile, or even checked out the archives, but I'm not going to take that personally... I suspect they were all blog surfing from work and couldn't risk getting caught laughing out loud. What would the other cubicle jockeys think, after all?



As I'm sure you know, these hits didn't come without a price, though. I had to do a fair amount of blog surfing myself in order to earn "credits", numbers that determine how many times my little blog will be shown to some unsuspecting, lucky person. I had to let random blogs pop onto my screen and wait at least 30 seconds before requesting the next one. Over and over and over and over again. And again. Blog after blog. Racking up the points and waiting with baited breath for the elusive "Mystery Credits" (really just a consolation prize for having too much time on your hands). Still, it was actually a pretty educational experience, in the end. I learned a lot about bloggers and their lives. I learned that I am by no means the most boring person on the Internet!



Have you seen some of these blogs? Granted, the owners have invested the time (or, in some cases, money) to create a flashy banner, a kick-ass title graphic, and an eye-catching color theme, something I have never been able to get around to myself. So, as each page pops up, you are teased with the unspoken promise of greatness. But what do you get?



Drivel.



I'm sorry, but it is what it is. Hey, I'm not saying what I do is any better, but I'd like to hope it is! I mean, I have completely mundane, boring, uninspired thoughts all day long too... I just don't feel the need to share them. Do you really care what I had for lunch? Or what I'm having for supper? If you do, email me, I'm happy to share... but not on my blog. Nor do I feel the need to preach, indoctrinate, or otherwise brainwash complete strangers into following my own particular brand of narrow-minded religion or politics. The election is over, folks, and there are plenty of churches in the real world. Why not step outside and visit one sometime? Or try cracking open that Bible Grandma gave you for your tenth birthday before you start expounding upon the deeper meanings of Leviticus.



Breathe, Cuppojoe, breathe... Go to your Happy Place...



Now, don't get me wrong, there are a lot of great blogs to read out there. But the thing is, you're not likely to find them by random... You're going to find them because everybody else is talking about them. Chances are, most of you have already been to Jay's Party or Does This Mean I'm a Grown Up? (hi, Catt!), right? In fact, I'm willing to bet that you've been more than once. They're good, plain and simple. And I've never stumbled across either one as I viewed thousands of pages through SnoreExplosion... er... BlogExplosion.



On the flipside, if you really want to promote your own blog, here's my advice: Read other people's blogs and post comments. Interact with others in a positive way, make a few friends, and leave your URL in your signature. I know for a fact that is how I established my modest "reader base". Stop thinking of your blog as an essay that no one will read and as more of a "conversation in type". Bring you readers into your world, instead of just telling them about it.



Sheesh! It gets tiring standing on this soapbox! I better get down before I hurt myself...

The Last Drop

Another year done.



The grounds of 2004 brewed up quite nicely and gave us many a great cup...



Calgary Flames come alive and make a valiant run for the Stanley Cup... My little girl's First Day of School... "The Great Decaffeination" (ironically enough)... SpaceShipOne claims the coveted X Prize... Mel Gibson's "Passion of the Christ"... Killer Whale-watching off the coast of Vancouver Island... The Mars rovers (not to be confused with the Irish Rovers)... Boston Red Sox finally lay the "curse" to rest... Olympic Games return to their birthplace in Athens, Rome... Cuppojoe.com goes online (although, still "Under Construction" *sigh*)... Google introduces Gmail and ups the ante in the world of webmail... Our Sunday Drive to Didsbury...



Of course, there were a few bitter cups, as well...



War continues in Iraq... NHL Lockout ends hope for a 2004-2005 hockey season... Hostage crisis in Russian school claims over 200 lives... Train bombing rocks Spain... More beheadings at the hands of terrorists... Celebrities die (Pierre Burton, Yassar Arafat, Christopher Reeve, Rodney Dangerfield, Janet Leigh, Julia Child, Fay Wray, Rick James, Isabel "Louise Jefferson" Sanford, Marlon Brando, Ray Charles, Ronald Reagan, Tony Randall, Estee Lauder, Alistair Cooke, Peter Ustinov, Jack Paar, Bob "Captain Kangaroo" Keeshan)... Asian Tsunamis bring widespead death and destruction...



And so, we come to the point where we must throw away the soggy filter of damp, used grounds that was 2004, and begin brewing the new pot that will become 2005. May the exhilarating aroma fill your lives and each cup bring a smile to your face.



Happy New Year!