The Comment That Never Was
If you've bothered to read through the very long blog just before this one, you may have noticed that someone had a very insightful comment. You wouldn't, however, have seen what that comment was, since my "Comments" feature doesn't support very long messages (no matter how good they are)... Sorry.
Fortunately, the comment was emailed to me. As I said, very insightful... So, with the permission of the author (who will be referred to as "Doc Atomic"), I am going to post the full content of his email below. Before I do, though, I'd just like to say that I personally know the good Doc, and I've come to respect his opinions and points of view on a broad range of topics. While I might not always agree (or understand), this doesn't make his points any less valid. With that said, I give you "It's The End of the Whirled, As We Know It...":
I'd had this thought a couple of years back also, but I don't think it'll fly.
Why? Look at the historical examples. For instance; in my record collection, I
have examples of the highest state of the art: Original Master recordings;
Japanese pressings on absolutely pure virgin vinyl; and even a rare,
limited-quantity *direct-to-disc* recording -- the highest fidelity that has
ever _been_ attained in consumer-available audio! These types of pressings
enjoyed a *brief* flurry of availability a quarter-century ago, but never really
became "popular" enough to justify their production cost -- and so, they died;
and it wasn't even the advent of CDs that killed them... it was simply due to
the lack of a real market; the vast majority of people had *grown up* with the
mass-produced 'lo-fi' crap, and that _was_ "music" to *them*... hell; most
people to this very day _still_ wouldn't recognise true high fidelity sound even
if it was played loud enough to blast their tympani straight
down through their Eustacian tubes and out their assholes.
The first thing that came to my mind when you mentioned "lower-quality"
distribution, though, was not music; it was 'bootleg' movies. Imagine: some
wank-off sitting in a movie theatre with a cheap vidcam -- dark picture; echoing
sound; severe 'keystone' distortion due to the angle of seating; heads bobbing
in front of the camera; coughing, and other audience noises -- this sort of shit
actually *sells*! In fact, it was exactly how I first seen "The Scorpion King",
and a couple of other equally-forgettable ones... on cheap, mass-stamped (_not_
CDR) VCDs, sold in the streets by the *millions*.
Quality be damned, eh? I think you are certainly partly right, with the issue
of cost -- but; to that, I would also add _availability_, and *convenience*...
which brings me back to those hi-fi pressings, because; although "fidelity" was
highly-touted as "The Issue" when vinyl was being replaced by CDs, it was
actually false -- as I pointed out above, higher fidelity than CDs certainly did
exist at the time and in fact, has never since been equalled. No; the *real*
selling advantage of CDs back then was the _convenience_ -- the ability to play
any track, in any order, any number of times, *immediately*, or even _remotely_
-- with no preparation (cleaning) or attention (care in placing the stylus on
the groove properly) being necessary.
As a result, we lost the "3D" dimensionality of the stereo image -- which CDs
_cannot_ reproduce, simply because of their time resolution limitation -- and
now, it is no longer possible to distinguish the *spaces between* the
instruments being played; instead, we get only a "flat wall" of sound, instead
of a sense of actually _being_ there *in* the performance (or audience). And
by-and-large, the vast majority of people never even noticed.
The same thing is happening right now, with .mp3 files. By definition, .mp3 is
a _lossy_ format -- meaning, the quality is NOT as good as the original. Like
the 'fringing' artifacts seen in .jpg images, .mp3 files suffer from loss of
definition, 'hollowness', and misphasing... and again, people simply don't give
a shit, because the .mp3 format is _convenient_... just pop your player onto a
USB port in some NetsCafe (or at work), and download your day's tuneage.
"Price" doesn't even *begin* to enter the picture!
I predict that within ten years, we will see the pressing of the very last CD.
Of course, they'll be gone from Europe and NorthAm long before that, but,
there'll always be a handful of "holdouts"... and, the "have-not" countries,
overseas -- which is where it will actually happen.
And by then, we will no longer have *any* choice about it... "fidelity" will
have degraded yet another order of magnitude lower, and we will have NO
alternatives.
Saturday, February 28, 2004
Saturday, February 21, 2004
"Aye, Matey!"
If there's one thing that the music and film industries need to realize, it's that the war is already over.
For the past few years, they've been trying to fight against the rising wave of piracy and file-swapping that they claim is destroying their business, but to little avail. A volley of attacks have been launched against Internet Service Providers, file-swapping services, and, most recently, end-users themselves. Still, success in stemming the flow of bootleg material across the vastness of the Internet has remained elusive. So far, each assault has only served to teach their opponents how to better hide behind the anonymity of the 'Net and how to develop more efficient methods to "rip" and "swap" everything from 80's music and video games to full-length feature films still showing in the theatres.
The futility has become most evident recently with the propaganda we are now subjected to during the "Coming Attractions"... Who hasn't had to sit and listen to some poor guy go on and on about how hard he works to make a movie and how it takes money out of his pocket each time someone downloads a copy? Come on! This isn't even a valid argument... The people who make the films don't suffer because all they do is raise the prices. Actually, it's the paying public who hurts in the long run. Remember when it only cost 5 bucks to see a movie? Yeah, me too... barely. And here's the funniest part about it all... The ever-increasing prices are only going to encourage people to download more! It's high time for the music and film industries to admit defeat on this front and try to salvage what they can.
A quick word before I continue... I am not promoting the piracy and/or sharing of copyright material. I think the debate over the moral and legal standpoints of this topic has raged on long enough. Instead, I'd rather focus on where to go from here.
Why do most people download music instead of buying it? Why spend hours getting "50 First Dates" from the Internet instead of just going to the cineplex? The real thing is just too expensive, that's why. It's not because the common man (or woman, for those of you who adhere to political correctness) is lawless by nature, thumbing his (or her) nose at authority. And it's not because they want to see the artists suffer in spite of their efforts. It's all about money. Why continue to keep up with rising prices year after year when "reasonable facsimiles" can be obtained for free? And, as I mentioned above, it's only going to get worse as the prices are pushed through the roof to make up for losses due to bootlegging. So, what is the answer then? While I firmly believe that it is impossible to stop piracy, I also think it can be slowed down by reducing the need to copy and share.
A close friend of mine and I were talking about this very topic over a year ago, and he put forth an idea that I thought was brilliant. So, of course, I'll tell you all about it and, even though I've just given the credit to him, you'll always remember that you read it here first and think of me as the genius. I love it when a plan comes together...
This battle didn't begin with Kazaa and the millions of people who opened their hard drives to each other to share the latest movies... Nor did it begin with Napster and the countless MP3s that flooded the Internet. In fact, this goes back further than the Internet, further digital media, further even than the home computer itself. For as long as there has been art, there has been someone to copy it. And for as long as there has been someone to copy it, there has been someone who would settle for a copy over the original. So, if this is true, how is it that painters, sculptors, and authors today still manage to survive? Why hasn't piracy destroyed them by now, especially considering how much longer they've been subjected to it? This is why: They found a way to embrace it and profit from it.
Very few of us can afford a painting by the likes of Picasso. To actually own a piece sculpted by Michelangelo is unthinkable. To read a book written in the hand-writing of Charles Dickens himself would be a once-in-a-lifetime event. Yet, the works of these three are readily available to any man, woman, or child who wishes to experience them... thanks to copies. The reproductions of these great works have done nothing to diminish the originals. Without question, they aren't as good, but for those who can't or won't afford the real thing, they provide an excellent alternative.
The proposal put forth by my friend was a simple one... Offer two levels of purchase for the consumer. For those who prefer to own "the best", continue to provide high-quality CDs and DVDs with all the fancy packaging and artwork. For those who don't find this necessary or who can live without the "perfect sound", offer music and movies in a cheaper, slightly inferior form. Strip out things like a flashy jewel case, booklet insert, or "DVD extras" and offer a trimmed down version. Allow music-lovers a way to purchase 30 or 40 MP3s (of their choice) burned onto a personalized CD right in the music store. Then, offer these alternatives at a price that would make them attractive and people wouldn't be so compelled to download the stuff from the 'Net.
Sure, there will always be people who would rather spend 16 hours downloading something they could pay 3 dollars for, but they are few and far between. Also, since file-sharing relies heavily on lots of people doing it, eventually even these die-hards would have to opt for the legal alternative.
I know this may sound a little Utopian right now... And there are complexities that I haven't (and won't) touch on. But it's the beginning of a plan. More importantly, it's the beginning of a plan that has everyone's best interests in mind. It's not just a way to control the illegal spread of copyright material, and it's not just a way to lower prices... It's both. Not to mention the fact that, if artists are faced with the need to convince us to buy the "full price" version, we may see a marked increase in the quality of products offered. In the end, everyone wins.
So, maybe I was a little hasty in claiming that the war is already over... But we certainly are in the final stages. If the pieces are played correctly, we'll have a stalemate that will let everybody walk away from the table happy.
If there's one thing that the music and film industries need to realize, it's that the war is already over.
For the past few years, they've been trying to fight against the rising wave of piracy and file-swapping that they claim is destroying their business, but to little avail. A volley of attacks have been launched against Internet Service Providers, file-swapping services, and, most recently, end-users themselves. Still, success in stemming the flow of bootleg material across the vastness of the Internet has remained elusive. So far, each assault has only served to teach their opponents how to better hide behind the anonymity of the 'Net and how to develop more efficient methods to "rip" and "swap" everything from 80's music and video games to full-length feature films still showing in the theatres.
The futility has become most evident recently with the propaganda we are now subjected to during the "Coming Attractions"... Who hasn't had to sit and listen to some poor guy go on and on about how hard he works to make a movie and how it takes money out of his pocket each time someone downloads a copy? Come on! This isn't even a valid argument... The people who make the films don't suffer because all they do is raise the prices. Actually, it's the paying public who hurts in the long run. Remember when it only cost 5 bucks to see a movie? Yeah, me too... barely. And here's the funniest part about it all... The ever-increasing prices are only going to encourage people to download more! It's high time for the music and film industries to admit defeat on this front and try to salvage what they can.
A quick word before I continue... I am not promoting the piracy and/or sharing of copyright material. I think the debate over the moral and legal standpoints of this topic has raged on long enough. Instead, I'd rather focus on where to go from here.
Why do most people download music instead of buying it? Why spend hours getting "50 First Dates" from the Internet instead of just going to the cineplex? The real thing is just too expensive, that's why. It's not because the common man (or woman, for those of you who adhere to political correctness) is lawless by nature, thumbing his (or her) nose at authority. And it's not because they want to see the artists suffer in spite of their efforts. It's all about money. Why continue to keep up with rising prices year after year when "reasonable facsimiles" can be obtained for free? And, as I mentioned above, it's only going to get worse as the prices are pushed through the roof to make up for losses due to bootlegging. So, what is the answer then? While I firmly believe that it is impossible to stop piracy, I also think it can be slowed down by reducing the need to copy and share.
A close friend of mine and I were talking about this very topic over a year ago, and he put forth an idea that I thought was brilliant. So, of course, I'll tell you all about it and, even though I've just given the credit to him, you'll always remember that you read it here first and think of me as the genius. I love it when a plan comes together...
This battle didn't begin with Kazaa and the millions of people who opened their hard drives to each other to share the latest movies... Nor did it begin with Napster and the countless MP3s that flooded the Internet. In fact, this goes back further than the Internet, further digital media, further even than the home computer itself. For as long as there has been art, there has been someone to copy it. And for as long as there has been someone to copy it, there has been someone who would settle for a copy over the original. So, if this is true, how is it that painters, sculptors, and authors today still manage to survive? Why hasn't piracy destroyed them by now, especially considering how much longer they've been subjected to it? This is why: They found a way to embrace it and profit from it.
Very few of us can afford a painting by the likes of Picasso. To actually own a piece sculpted by Michelangelo is unthinkable. To read a book written in the hand-writing of Charles Dickens himself would be a once-in-a-lifetime event. Yet, the works of these three are readily available to any man, woman, or child who wishes to experience them... thanks to copies. The reproductions of these great works have done nothing to diminish the originals. Without question, they aren't as good, but for those who can't or won't afford the real thing, they provide an excellent alternative.
The proposal put forth by my friend was a simple one... Offer two levels of purchase for the consumer. For those who prefer to own "the best", continue to provide high-quality CDs and DVDs with all the fancy packaging and artwork. For those who don't find this necessary or who can live without the "perfect sound", offer music and movies in a cheaper, slightly inferior form. Strip out things like a flashy jewel case, booklet insert, or "DVD extras" and offer a trimmed down version. Allow music-lovers a way to purchase 30 or 40 MP3s (of their choice) burned onto a personalized CD right in the music store. Then, offer these alternatives at a price that would make them attractive and people wouldn't be so compelled to download the stuff from the 'Net.
Sure, there will always be people who would rather spend 16 hours downloading something they could pay 3 dollars for, but they are few and far between. Also, since file-sharing relies heavily on lots of people doing it, eventually even these die-hards would have to opt for the legal alternative.
I know this may sound a little Utopian right now... And there are complexities that I haven't (and won't) touch on. But it's the beginning of a plan. More importantly, it's the beginning of a plan that has everyone's best interests in mind. It's not just a way to control the illegal spread of copyright material, and it's not just a way to lower prices... It's both. Not to mention the fact that, if artists are faced with the need to convince us to buy the "full price" version, we may see a marked increase in the quality of products offered. In the end, everyone wins.
So, maybe I was a little hasty in claiming that the war is already over... But we certainly are in the final stages. If the pieces are played correctly, we'll have a stalemate that will let everybody walk away from the table happy.
Thursday, February 12, 2004
Caught Between a Rose and a Hard Place
Well, boys, that time of year is upon us once again... That's right, now that we've finally recovered (mentally and financially) from the ordeal of finding those "perfect" Christmas gifts for our beloved women, we are once more faced with a holiday that could very easily set the tempos of our relationships for the rest of the year... Valentine's Day is here.
Since the day after Boxing Week, we've seen the hearts and cupids hanging in the Hallmark card stores, reminding us that our time to brush up on the fine art of romance is running short. We've had our year of scratching ourselves in public, passing gas under the sheets, and laughing at the Naked Gun movies... Now, it's time to remind our ladies just why they chose us over all others and (hopefully) erase from their minds the image of us dancing at last year's company Christmas party.
I truly wanted this blog to be one of hope for us, guys. I wanted to give tips on picking the perfect gift, something that would make any woman's heart melt. And I wanted to teach a few little romantic gestures that never fail to take a woman back to that first moment when she looked at you and knew you were "the one". I wanted this to be the year that we prove we really can be everything the diamond commercials have taught them we are... But let's face it, who am I kidding?
I'm just like the rest of you. When it comes to Valentine's Day, I might as well be a deer in the headlights (except, for the deer, the end is a lot quicker and less messy). I know my special lady has been waiting in breathless anticipation for the past month to see just how sweet, thoughtful, and romantic I'm going to be. What I don't necessarily know, is how to be all those things... I'm a guy, for crying out loud! My idea of thoughtful is showing her how to jiggle the handle on the toilet to stop it from running all night. And my experience with "romance" pretty much consists of those 5 minutes before love-making when I stroke her arm, cross one leg over hers and, with a raise of my eyebrows, say, "So... uh... You wanna?"
I do not, however, think that giving her flowers is particularly thoughtful or romantic. How much thought does it take to walk into a florist, throw down 50 bucks, and ask for a dozen roses? None, that's how much. And you know why? Because if guys pondered the idea for even 2 seconds, they'd kick their own asses for dropping that much cash on something that is going to sit in a jar for 3 days before dying and, ultimately, being tossed stems-up into the garbage can. A bloody 2 dollar goldfish has better chances and more economic appeal than that! But, I digress...
In the end, guys, we're going to do what we always do... We're going to put off doing anything about Valentine's Day until the actual day arrives. Then, we're going to scramble around to find something, anything, that might pass as a gift. And we're going to call every nice restaurant in town, only to find out that nothing is available thanks to all the pansy-ass, whipped guys who thought to make reservations in advance. Which will, inevitably, lead to us proclaiming that it is far more romantic to make supper for our women and serve it by candlelight. Unfortunately, considering our culinary skills, this will consist of spaghetti with sauce from a jar, Baby Duck wine, and one of those fat red candles with the fake holly berries left over from the Christmas decorations. Some things will never change...
But wait! I wanted to leave you all with a little bit of hope... A friend of mine by the name of Clint Vander Klok (perhaps you've heard of him...?) has stumbled across a way for our women to repay us for the trials and tribulations we endure at this time of year and bring a long-awaited balance to the universe. If you'd like to find out what this brilliant answer to all men's prayers is, just surf on over to http://www.clint.ca/oldnews/steak.htm... I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
Well, boys, that time of year is upon us once again... That's right, now that we've finally recovered (mentally and financially) from the ordeal of finding those "perfect" Christmas gifts for our beloved women, we are once more faced with a holiday that could very easily set the tempos of our relationships for the rest of the year... Valentine's Day is here.
Since the day after Boxing Week, we've seen the hearts and cupids hanging in the Hallmark card stores, reminding us that our time to brush up on the fine art of romance is running short. We've had our year of scratching ourselves in public, passing gas under the sheets, and laughing at the Naked Gun movies... Now, it's time to remind our ladies just why they chose us over all others and (hopefully) erase from their minds the image of us dancing at last year's company Christmas party.
I truly wanted this blog to be one of hope for us, guys. I wanted to give tips on picking the perfect gift, something that would make any woman's heart melt. And I wanted to teach a few little romantic gestures that never fail to take a woman back to that first moment when she looked at you and knew you were "the one". I wanted this to be the year that we prove we really can be everything the diamond commercials have taught them we are... But let's face it, who am I kidding?
I'm just like the rest of you. When it comes to Valentine's Day, I might as well be a deer in the headlights (except, for the deer, the end is a lot quicker and less messy). I know my special lady has been waiting in breathless anticipation for the past month to see just how sweet, thoughtful, and romantic I'm going to be. What I don't necessarily know, is how to be all those things... I'm a guy, for crying out loud! My idea of thoughtful is showing her how to jiggle the handle on the toilet to stop it from running all night. And my experience with "romance" pretty much consists of those 5 minutes before love-making when I stroke her arm, cross one leg over hers and, with a raise of my eyebrows, say, "So... uh... You wanna?"
I do not, however, think that giving her flowers is particularly thoughtful or romantic. How much thought does it take to walk into a florist, throw down 50 bucks, and ask for a dozen roses? None, that's how much. And you know why? Because if guys pondered the idea for even 2 seconds, they'd kick their own asses for dropping that much cash on something that is going to sit in a jar for 3 days before dying and, ultimately, being tossed stems-up into the garbage can. A bloody 2 dollar goldfish has better chances and more economic appeal than that! But, I digress...
In the end, guys, we're going to do what we always do... We're going to put off doing anything about Valentine's Day until the actual day arrives. Then, we're going to scramble around to find something, anything, that might pass as a gift. And we're going to call every nice restaurant in town, only to find out that nothing is available thanks to all the pansy-ass, whipped guys who thought to make reservations in advance. Which will, inevitably, lead to us proclaiming that it is far more romantic to make supper for our women and serve it by candlelight. Unfortunately, considering our culinary skills, this will consist of spaghetti with sauce from a jar, Baby Duck wine, and one of those fat red candles with the fake holly berries left over from the Christmas decorations. Some things will never change...
But wait! I wanted to leave you all with a little bit of hope... A friend of mine by the name of Clint Vander Klok (perhaps you've heard of him...?) has stumbled across a way for our women to repay us for the trials and tribulations we endure at this time of year and bring a long-awaited balance to the universe. If you'd like to find out what this brilliant answer to all men's prayers is, just surf on over to http://www.clint.ca/oldnews/steak.htm... I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
Monday, February 9, 2004
Commentary on Comments
I don't know what it is about today... Maybe I didn't get enough sleep last night... Or maybe someone slipped decaf into the coffee maker at work ("morning people" should be exiled to a remote northern iceflow where they can grin happily at each other all day and leave the rest of us to bitch until noon like nature intended)... But, whatever it is, I sure feel strange.
Normally, I'm a fairly well-adjusted guy. I do what I do, say what I say, and it doesn't really matter what anyone thinks about it (with the exception of upper-management, for whom I've reserved a generous yet dignified form of sucking-up). But, when I woke up this morning, something was different. Suddenly, I want to know what people think of me! I couldn't believe it! So, I scurried to the blog page to scan for comments on my entries...
Lo and behold (which phrase may give the impression I'm more advanced in years than I really am)... a few comments, but nothing recent (and, sadly, I recognize the 2 people who left them). "So," I wondered to myself, "What are the rest of them thinking? Why have they not applauded my efforts or denounced me as a charlatan? What am I going to have for supper tonight?" As enticing as that little "Comment (0)" link is, practically begging to be clicked, I can only assume that it is only by the most incredible force of will that you are all able to resist the overwhelming urge to put your 2 cents in...
And so, today I write about nothing and I turn this blog over to you. What do you think? How do you feel? What do you think I should have for supper? Take advantage of this limited time offer... The Return of the Apathy is right around the corner... If you're too shy to comment, then email me at cuppojoe71@hotmail.com.
I don't know what it is about today... Maybe I didn't get enough sleep last night... Or maybe someone slipped decaf into the coffee maker at work ("morning people" should be exiled to a remote northern iceflow where they can grin happily at each other all day and leave the rest of us to bitch until noon like nature intended)... But, whatever it is, I sure feel strange.
Normally, I'm a fairly well-adjusted guy. I do what I do, say what I say, and it doesn't really matter what anyone thinks about it (with the exception of upper-management, for whom I've reserved a generous yet dignified form of sucking-up). But, when I woke up this morning, something was different. Suddenly, I want to know what people think of me! I couldn't believe it! So, I scurried to the blog page to scan for comments on my entries...
Lo and behold (which phrase may give the impression I'm more advanced in years than I really am)... a few comments, but nothing recent (and, sadly, I recognize the 2 people who left them). "So," I wondered to myself, "What are the rest of them thinking? Why have they not applauded my efforts or denounced me as a charlatan? What am I going to have for supper tonight?" As enticing as that little "Comment (0)" link is, practically begging to be clicked, I can only assume that it is only by the most incredible force of will that you are all able to resist the overwhelming urge to put your 2 cents in...
And so, today I write about nothing and I turn this blog over to you. What do you think? How do you feel? What do you think I should have for supper? Take advantage of this limited time offer... The Return of the Apathy is right around the corner... If you're too shy to comment, then email me at cuppojoe71@hotmail.com.
Thursday, February 5, 2004
Super Bowl Booby-Prize (or "How I Jumped on the Band-Wagon and Wrote About Janet Too")
Let’s just cut to the quick, shall we? We can sit around all day debating whether or not seeing Janet’s right funbag during the Super Bowl Half-time Show was offensive or not… The fact of the matter is, it’s highly doubtful that she even cares! I imagine that the only thing going through her mind in the seconds before Justin copped the infamous feel was, “I sure hope this works!”
The whole thing is about exposure (don’t pardon the pun… appreciate it). Growing up with the Jackson 5 and having a string of hit songs in the ‘80s and ‘90s couldn’t help but set her up for stardom… But even being the sister of one of the biggest freaks of our time can’t keep her in the spotlight forever. And so, Operation Flashdance was born.
I don’t think that anyone can blame the girl for trying to get our attention. Hell, even my writing this is an attempt to get attention on some level. And you really can’t blame her when it appears to have done the trick. Apparently, the words “Janet Jackson’s Breast” have become the most searched for phrase in the history of the Internet. Gee whiz! That took all of three days! So, she’s getting exactly what she bargained for when she dreamed up this whole stunt… Or is she?
Sure, Janet Jackson is the name on everyone’s lips right now… Yes, you can watch the sordid incident in dramatic slo-mo (with the offending body part blurred out to protect its identity) at any given hour of the day or night… And even websites dedicated to higher schools of thought like www.clint.ca are filled with commentary and opinions on the subject. But is all this coverage over lack of coverage really going to do Ms. Jackson any good?
While it may be true that the only bad press is no press at all, I’m a little bothered by this stunt. Not necessarily by the fact that 89 million people (including a fair amount of youngsters) were subjected to 1 second of bare breast during a prime time sporting event, but more so by the way it was handled. “Wardrobe malfunction”, they said… “Completely unintentional”, they claimed… Well now… I consider myself to be fairly secure and comfortable with my body, but suddenly expose my tally-whacker for 89 million people to see and I’m sure I’d act very differently than she did! No, her mock astonishment was as scripted and choreographed as the rest of the performance. So, instead of following in her brother Michaels’s footsteps, she quickly dropped the lie (“Are you serious?!? Only one operation on your nose to help you breathe?”) and decided to come clean. Now she’s the contrite little schoolgirl who never meant to offend anybody…
Well, I’m sorry Janet, but you did offend me. I personally don’t care if you choose the get naked in public or not… anymore than I cared when Britney kissed Madonna… but when you insult my intelligence, everybody’s intelligence, by lying about the motivations behind such a career-boosting stunt, I have to call “bullshit”. You went for cutting-edge, tried to be the rebel, but came off looking like a poser.
And that, my friends, is the naked truth.
Let’s just cut to the quick, shall we? We can sit around all day debating whether or not seeing Janet’s right funbag during the Super Bowl Half-time Show was offensive or not… The fact of the matter is, it’s highly doubtful that she even cares! I imagine that the only thing going through her mind in the seconds before Justin copped the infamous feel was, “I sure hope this works!”
The whole thing is about exposure (don’t pardon the pun… appreciate it). Growing up with the Jackson 5 and having a string of hit songs in the ‘80s and ‘90s couldn’t help but set her up for stardom… But even being the sister of one of the biggest freaks of our time can’t keep her in the spotlight forever. And so, Operation Flashdance was born.
I don’t think that anyone can blame the girl for trying to get our attention. Hell, even my writing this is an attempt to get attention on some level. And you really can’t blame her when it appears to have done the trick. Apparently, the words “Janet Jackson’s Breast” have become the most searched for phrase in the history of the Internet. Gee whiz! That took all of three days! So, she’s getting exactly what she bargained for when she dreamed up this whole stunt… Or is she?
Sure, Janet Jackson is the name on everyone’s lips right now… Yes, you can watch the sordid incident in dramatic slo-mo (with the offending body part blurred out to protect its identity) at any given hour of the day or night… And even websites dedicated to higher schools of thought like www.clint.ca are filled with commentary and opinions on the subject. But is all this coverage over lack of coverage really going to do Ms. Jackson any good?
While it may be true that the only bad press is no press at all, I’m a little bothered by this stunt. Not necessarily by the fact that 89 million people (including a fair amount of youngsters) were subjected to 1 second of bare breast during a prime time sporting event, but more so by the way it was handled. “Wardrobe malfunction”, they said… “Completely unintentional”, they claimed… Well now… I consider myself to be fairly secure and comfortable with my body, but suddenly expose my tally-whacker for 89 million people to see and I’m sure I’d act very differently than she did! No, her mock astonishment was as scripted and choreographed as the rest of the performance. So, instead of following in her brother Michaels’s footsteps, she quickly dropped the lie (“Are you serious?!? Only one operation on your nose to help you breathe?”) and decided to come clean. Now she’s the contrite little schoolgirl who never meant to offend anybody…
Well, I’m sorry Janet, but you did offend me. I personally don’t care if you choose the get naked in public or not… anymore than I cared when Britney kissed Madonna… but when you insult my intelligence, everybody’s intelligence, by lying about the motivations behind such a career-boosting stunt, I have to call “bullshit”. You went for cutting-edge, tried to be the rebel, but came off looking like a poser.
And that, my friends, is the naked truth.
Sunday, February 1, 2004
The Project
Guess what I'm going to do today... I'm going to frustrate myself! Sounds like fun, doesn't it? Well, if you only knew! Even though it's Sunday, and I could be sitting around, relaxing, and watching TV, I'm going to do something that I'm sure will have me pulling my hair out and wondering why I didn't just stay in bed. Today, I'm going to build a computer for my girlfriend.
Now, it wouldn't be so bad if I was taking a few hundred bucks down to my local computer retail store to buy brand new parts. In fact, it would be a absolute pleasure to pick up a nice P4 3.0 processor, motherboard, 2GB of DDR RAM, DVD-Burner, and a 19" LCD Flat Panel monitor... (Oops! Just started drooling on the keyboard...) However, since champagne wishes and caviar dreams don't exactly match my beer and potato chips budget, I'm gonna have to settle for a little less...
So, instead, I'll rummage through the parts I've tossed into a box each time I've upgraded my computer. Let's see what we've got here... Hmm... Well, looks like I'll be building a sweet PII 500MHz (smokin'!) machine with 192MB of SDRAM (sigh..) and an 8x CD-Burner. Wow, it's depressing just reading over what I've just written! Oh well... What are ya gonna do, eh?
I've always said that putting a computer together is like playing with Lego... You just snap the parts together, and there you go. Of course, installing Windows is another thing... Anybody wanna guess how many network cards I go through before I find one Windows will recognize? Then I'll have to sit through about 2 hours of Windows Updates... Then a whole new install when I realize the hard drive is bad (isn't that why I bought a new one in the first place?)... Girlfriend asking, "Is it almost done?" for the tenth time... More Windows Updates... I think you see where this is going, and I'm willing to bet that a few of you have been there yourselves.
So gang, wish me luck... Once more into the fray... If I'm not back in a week, tell my family I love them and not to eat the tartar sauce...
Guess what I'm going to do today... I'm going to frustrate myself! Sounds like fun, doesn't it? Well, if you only knew! Even though it's Sunday, and I could be sitting around, relaxing, and watching TV, I'm going to do something that I'm sure will have me pulling my hair out and wondering why I didn't just stay in bed. Today, I'm going to build a computer for my girlfriend.
Now, it wouldn't be so bad if I was taking a few hundred bucks down to my local computer retail store to buy brand new parts. In fact, it would be a absolute pleasure to pick up a nice P4 3.0 processor, motherboard, 2GB of DDR RAM, DVD-Burner, and a 19" LCD Flat Panel monitor... (Oops! Just started drooling on the keyboard...) However, since champagne wishes and caviar dreams don't exactly match my beer and potato chips budget, I'm gonna have to settle for a little less...
So, instead, I'll rummage through the parts I've tossed into a box each time I've upgraded my computer. Let's see what we've got here... Hmm... Well, looks like I'll be building a sweet PII 500MHz (smokin'!) machine with 192MB of SDRAM (sigh..) and an 8x CD-Burner. Wow, it's depressing just reading over what I've just written! Oh well... What are ya gonna do, eh?
I've always said that putting a computer together is like playing with Lego... You just snap the parts together, and there you go. Of course, installing Windows is another thing... Anybody wanna guess how many network cards I go through before I find one Windows will recognize? Then I'll have to sit through about 2 hours of Windows Updates... Then a whole new install when I realize the hard drive is bad (isn't that why I bought a new one in the first place?)... Girlfriend asking, "Is it almost done?" for the tenth time... More Windows Updates... I think you see where this is going, and I'm willing to bet that a few of you have been there yourselves.
So gang, wish me luck... Once more into the fray... If I'm not back in a week, tell my family I love them and not to eat the tartar sauce...
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